Why is it that beginning something is so very hard? In the morning, even with the beautiful sun streaming through the windows...the overwhelming inclination is towards screwing my eyes back shut, rolling over and staying put. Why must I get up? Is not life better, safer, warmer, kinder, easier here?
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Thursday, November 11, 201 |
When I look at my life as a whole...I am struck immobile with crushing fear. Even taken in the individual pieces, one feels as if the slightest movement forward takes the courage of one hundred lives. This is why I can confidently say that it is G-d who put me up to going through all that paperwork today (yes there were things going back over three years), and G-d who moved me to clean off and organize my computer desk (that had grown to a shameful three feet in height). I know any “normal” person would look on these “accomplishments” with scorn. But to me they feel like Everest climbed. Like Goliath conquered. Like a step into the light.
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