Mindsets, Prejudices, Paradigms, and Soul Correction.

For lack of guidance a nation falls,
   but victory is won through many advisers. Mish’le 11:14

I am currently of two minds.  Up till now my overarching mindset has been, “do well, and well will be done to you.”  I have been moderately successful (perhaps this is pride?) in giving my all to others (employers, friends, coworkers, etc.) However on the receiving end, I feel cheated. (and perhaps this too is a failure; expecting more.) Near homeless, near car-less, mostly best-friend-less, certainly husband-less, definitely childless.  I wonder.

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, December 5, 2010
I am going to check out a book on citrus cultivation.
What can I be doing better?

My Mother advises: Be selfish. Take care of yourself. You cannot give until you are taken care of, until you have a “core that cannot be harmed”  She speaks of financial security, and to a lesser degree of emotional maturity. She used words like “boundaries” and “martyr”.

 

My G-d advises: Be generous. Care for others. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  He speaks of life, this one, and an eternal one hereafter.

 

I do not think that these two ideas are compatible with each other.  I am loathe to discard my mothers advice, as it seems to be so very reasonable, and sound..  Especially in light of my seeming failure with the latter.  But I did the exact opposite, in foolhardy faith yesterday, and the day before, I gave more than I could afford....I should probably talk to my Rabbi.